The Most Difficult Season of Parenting

When I gave birth to my children, I couldn’t imagine anything more difficult than caring day and night for these tiny creatures who could only cry to communicate their needs.  I thought surely nothing could be more brutal than being sleep deprived and “on call” 24/7 to tend to their every need.  Then, before I could blink twice these babies were teenagers with all the challenges that entailed.  I decided the “baby” thing wasn’t so bad and this must surely be the most difficult challenge I could face as a parent.  Both children survived the teen years and now are adults.  Surely, it gets easier to be a mom now, right?  Now I find myself in a very strange place as a parent of adult children.  The greatest challenge I believe is this season because it represents a culmination of all of the seasons before. 

As the parent of adult children, I no longer get to “vote” about what it is they do with their lives, their children, their spouses, their career choices, their education, their homes, their spiritual lives, etc.  The list is endless and the “job description” of being a mom at this stage is in a constant state of evolution.  As a parent, I am no longer a caretaker, teacher, and disciplinarian.  Instead, I am a source of emotional support, a mentor, and an advisor.  I can not rescue, and I must stand silently and prayerfully by as natural consequences play out in the lives of my children.  I am allowed to mentor and give advice only when asked, and then the “vote” is in the hands of the child to accept or reject what I have shared. 

The thing that never changes is the unconditional love.  That is truly bittersweet because getting hurt at this stage hurts more than ever, but the joys are also “over the top” sweet indeed!  How does a parent survive this phase?  Well, this is a work in progress, but I know for sure that I could never do this alone.  I rely more than ever on the guidance of the Lord through His Holy Spirit to give me the right words, the right actions, the ability to be silent, and most of all the ability to trust that through Him it will all be OK. 

~Winnie