I remember watching films of the Holocaust when I was a young girl. Growing up in a Jewish family was wonderful but the 'we must teach our young about the Holocaust so that it must never happen again' mindset of my teachers really did a job on me. The visuals they showed us of real Nazi footage still haunts me to this day. These images were not just a movie, nicely edited so that the viewer could withstand the horror. They were real films made by the Nazis to document their evil.
Last week I felt my heart wanting to jump out of my chest when I saw an angry German Shepherd dog being held back by his owner. The vision brought my mind straight back to the footage as I remembered the dogs rounding up women and children of the Holocaust like cattle. My mind had held the images and the fear.
I always find that my faith takes a hit after a trigger like this. My doubts of a loving and all powerful God attempt to take over. The enemy uses this time to barrage me with "what ifs". What if my family had lived in Poland like so many of our relatives did at that time? What if anti-semitism continues to be on the rise? If God can allow that, what if He really doesn't exist?
Yes, I am being honest here...this is where my mind goes. But the good news is, my mind is not in control. Some of you may be thinking ..."dah, it never has been Susan". Yes, I normally lead with my heart, but that is not what I am saying here. I know that my brain is just a organ of my body. It holds my memories and experiences and will even bring them back to me at the most inopportune time. However, I believe that it is my spirit that is accountable for how I lead my life and my faith. In the words of my friend, Dr. Waggoner, 'I am a spirit in charge of a body, not a body in charge of a spirit'.
It is this 'Spirit Man' inside me that chooses to believe in God. It tells my brain not to fear, to believe in God's word and to trust Him in all things. It tells me that because I have given my life to YeShua, Jesus, I am a new creation. My spirit is empowered by the Holy Spirit that lives within me. My mind still searches for answers about how we as humans can hurt each other so completely. I may never understand how friends betray one another, putting loyalty onto people instead of standing for truth and justice. I certainly will never understand the Holocaust. It may be one of the first subjects I ask about when I get to heaven. Yet I choose to believe first, living with intention to be fixed on His goodness and love.
I know that we highlight Patty's words, "do more than believe". I think she meant "do more than causally say you are a believer'.... Sometimes choosing to believe in the face of pain and disappointment is the "do more" of which she was speaking. I find that when I choose to believe, the experiences of God come...as I watch for them, and He never disappoints.
